This is my Big Idea & Action episode where I pull out the key highlights from our series on transforming conflict. Our catalyst was William Ury, one of the world’s best-known experts on negotiation, and the co-author of Getting to Yes, the world’s all-time bestselling book on the topic with more than 15 million copies sold. He’s a co-founder of Harvard’s Program on Negotiation and his brand new book and our muse for part one in this series, is, POSSIBLE: How We Survive (and Thrive) in an Age of Conflict. I also had a conversation in the previous episode with my co-host and brother, Jared Angaza who has served domestically and overseas as a conflict negotiator. It was in the conversation I had an epiphany, which I’m about to share in what turned out to be seven key highlights that stood out to me.

We continue our series on transforming conflict which we began with William Ury. William, one of the world’s best-known experts on negotiation, and the co-author of Getting to Yes, the world’s all-time bestselling book on the topic with more than 15 million copies sold. He’s a co-founder of Harvard’s Program on Negotiation and his brand new book and our muse for part one in this series, is, POSSIBLE: How We Survive (and Thrive) in an Age of Conflict. Here I’ve brought my brother, Jared Angaza onto the show, as he’s served many organizations stateside and in Africa on this topic negotiation, or more so…conflict resolution. Walk with us as we dig further into the issue.

We’re back with negotiation, conflict, and possibilities expert William Ury. In our previous discussion we dove deep into the focus of his new book, POSSIBLE: How We Survive (and Thrive) in an Age of Conflict. Here we go behind the scenes to hear what drives William in his personal and professional life, and how he handles conflict and pursues possibilities in his own world, from where he goes out around the globe to lead others. William again is co-author of Getting to Yes, a co-founder of Harvard’s Program on Negotiation and consultant to the White House, the State Department, and the Pentagon and more.

We begin a series on conflict, or more specifically, the possibilities within or around conflict. We seem to be a world more at conflict than ever. We can ask why, but where it starts is with us and chances are as you are listening right now you have a list of people in your lives who you are struggling with or distanced from, because of conflict. So how can you…how can I…better steward conflict in our lives, and from there, in the worlds around us? My guest and expert on the topic is William Ury. William is one of the world’s best-known experts on negotiation, and the co-author of Getting to Yes, the world’s all-time bestselling book on the topic with more than 15 million copies sold. He’s a co-founder of Harvard’s Program on Negotiation and has devoted his life to helping people, organizations, and nations transform conflicts around the world, having served as a negotiator in many of the toughest disputes of our times and consulted with the White House, the State Department, and the Pentagon. He has served as a negotiation adviser and mediator in conflicts ranging from Kentucky wildcat coal mine strikes to family feuds, from US partisan battles to wars in the Middle East, Colombia, Korea, and Ukraine. My focus in this series is primarily on the greatest battle front, which is the worlds we live in, in our homes and our work. My muse is William’s brand new book, POSSIBLE: How We Survive (and Thrive) in an Age of Conflict.

This is my The Big Idea & Action episode to distill down our series on Inner Mastery. Inner Mastery IS…your drive. Your drive isn’t out there, it’s all inside you. It’s just waiting for you to get it in the right gear and to upshift. As I said in part three however, think about it as inner mastering. It’s the day by day pursuit of growth to understand and better manage and be your true self. Our expert for this series is Hitendra Wadhwa, professor at Columbia Business School and author of, INNER MASTERY, OUTER IMPACT: How Your Five Core Energies Hold the Key to Success. Following are the primary topics that emerged from the series for me.

This episode is part 3 in my series on Inner Mastery. We think what drives us is the desire for something...out there. It's having a goal and wanting the goal so much that we're motivated enough to do what it takes to achieve it. This is how we parent. I've done it too. Provide an incentive. "Here is what you'll get...what you can have...if you'll get up and do the work." It can work, but it's a short term solution. Once the prize is achieved you go back to square one. What we want is to be people who are always motivated toward positive results. Again, you are always driven. But your drive is fueled by fear or desire. You can be driving backwards, you can be driven off on time wasting detours. You can be driven to massive wrecks. We all want to be driven to wake up daily and make positive progress toward fulfilling destinations, and regardless of the destination, be enjoying the ride. This comes from inner mastery. Note, don't hear "mastery" as a noun. A destination. Think of it as a verb. More like...inner mastering. Always growing. My expert in part one and two was Hitendra Wadhwa, a professor at Columbia Business School where his class on Personal Leadership & Success is one of the most popular classes. Hitendra’s new book is titled, INNER MASTERY, OUTER IMPACT: How Your Five Core Energies Hold the Key to Success. Here I have my brother and frequent co-host, Jared Angaza on to discuss these five keys, as in my long talk with Hitendra we never got past the first key, purpose. Next are wisdom, growth, love, and self-realization. My interest is digging into how we have cultural meanings programmed into us and misperceive all five core energies, and how we can get them flowing to better inform and direct our drive.

We’re back with Inner Mastery expert Hitendra Wadhwa. In our previous discussion we dove deep into the focus of his book, INNER MASTERY, OUTER IMPACT: How Your Five Core Energies Hold the Key to Success. Here we go behind the scenes to hear what drives Hitendra in his personal and professional life, and how he handles his pursuit of inner mastery. Hitendra again is professor at Columbia Business School and Founder of the Mentora Institute. His class on Personal Leadership & Success is one of the most popular at Columbia Business School. Find him at hitendra.com and mentora.institute

We look at a key myth about drive. That it comes from focusing on an external motivation. You are driven to make more money, secure a certain relationship, attain a position, have an experience, etc…It’s always “out there.” And yet all those things are simply items we focus on to get our inner self, driven. My book is about unlocking the drive inside you, and though I do in fact use external motives as tools, the work happens…inside. So here I kick off a series on Inner Mastery. My expert is Hitendra Wadhwa. Hitendra is a professor at Columbia Business School and Founder of the Mentora Institute. His class on Personal Leadership & Success is one of the most popular at Columbia Business School. Hitendra’s mission is to discover, codify and teach the laws of success in life and leadership.

We are wrapping up our series on Interdependence and how it supports our overall drive far more than our independence. There is a place for both, but our focus on being independent is limiting us. This is my Big Idea, Big Takeaway & Big Action episode where I pull out the key highlights from our series. My expert for the series is Interdependence Expert & International Trauma Facilitator, Thomas Hübl, whose new book is titled, Attuned: Practicing Interdependence to Heal Our Trauma—and Our World. In part three I broadened the discussion with a friend and collaborator of Thomas’, William Ury who is one of the world’s best-known experts on negotiation and co-founder of Harvard’s Program on Negotiation. William’s new book is called POSSIBLE: How We Survive (and Thrive) in an Age of Conflict, and we have a series with him coming up shortly.